High above the River Thames they gather: a family that has known disaster and adoration, now with grandchildren who must navigate a changing world.

Orchids are not like other plants. Their miniscule seeds are carried across seas by the wind yet are so lacking in energy, they cannot germinate without the help of soil fungi. Some species do not flower until they are a decade old. And many live on the endangered list because modern agriculture – and historic plant collection – has hit them very hard.
But they are a family, and face the challenges together. Member no. 1: the monkey orchid Orchis simia with its ludicrous purple and white monkeys. Restricted to just three English sites, it is also probably smaller than it used to be due to big specimens being favoured by collectors. In a country full of very weird plants, this is one of the oddest. Do they really look like monkeys? Well…

But it is not alone. Family member no. 2: the military orchid. It is gone from this hillside – a vanishingly rare plant, I was staggered to find one last spring in another county – but as the Thames sloshes on, the soldier is still here in spirit. Genetic testing shows that long ago it hybridised with monkey orchids. Its genes cling on as ghosts.

If the military orchid is missing, the lady is present and accounted for. She is family member no. 3: Orchis purpurea, wearing wide bloomers and a dark bonnet. But no, something is awry. She has a tail!

A monkey orchid / lady orchid hybrid. There are some genuine ladies scattered on the hillside, but most have monkey (and by extension, military) genes. Here is one of nature’s riddles: species can only persist as unique forms if they are mostly reproducing with their own kind, and yet many – from wolves to toads – will mate with related species if given half a chance. A hybrid zone then forms between the two parent species.
Orchids are very fond of this game, but for three of our rarest species to mix is extraordinary. This is the only hillside in England where you can see such a thing.
But even if they are a scientific head-scratcher, they are beautiful.

And the Thames will have seen it before.






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